He Doesn't Want A High-Five

About the author:
Alli is not an expert at dating. Most of what she says is a result of what she sees around her. She writes what she sees going on and what she feels needs to be said. Sometimes she'll be sardonic, bitter, or cynical and other times she'll be downright insightful. She likes to think of herself as a relationship genius. Others might disagree, but they don't run this site.

If there is anything you would like me to cover, just click the question mark to ask a question. I'd love to hear from you.

You can also email me at Sardonicdatingadvice@gmail.com

Dating Tips #257: Don’t rush those 3 little words

Sure, you might be feeling it and you really want to say it, but make sure it’s the right time. Don’t rush it and don’t say “I love you” because you feel like it’s the next logical step. My personal rule is, don’t say it within the first few months of dating. Every relationship is different and you’ll know when or if it’s the right time to drop the L-bomb on your significant other. 

Questions/Response

Email: sardonicdatingadvice@gmail.com

Anonymous asked: What signs can I give a guy to let him know I am really into him? I think this guy likes me but is too scared to tell me, and on top of that is inexperienced with girls. How can I show him I like him without being too forward? He's giving me signs but isn't making any moves...

Dear Show and Tell,

Just tell him! If you think he likes you, then let him know how you feel. Be bold. Be confident. If he’s not into you, then he’ll let you know and you can move on. If he is, then voila, you’re on the train to romancetown. 

-Alli 

Anonymous asked: why you no answer me? waaaahh

I typically only answer questions once a week because I’ve been busy the past few months. I’m trying to answer them faster when I have the time, but normally I can only do it once or twice a week :) Be patient! 

Anonymous asked: Will a guy who likes you go out of his way to do things for you? I can't picture a guy doing this if he didn't like you as more than a friend?

Dear Friend or Friendlier, 

It depends if he’s a nice guy. I’ve had plenty of guy friends go out of their way to do things for me and they never had interest in dating me. He could like you, but you’d have to look at more clues than just that. Does he initiate conversation? Does he try and make plans? Stuff like that. Don’t break down every little thing he does because sometimes, that doesn’t give away anything. 

-Alli 

Anonymous asked: So I have a huge crush on a co-worker. My gut tells me that he likes me back but I get mixed signals sometimes. He makes prolonged eye contact, he's super nice, helpful, friendly, teases me, jokes with me, playfully flirty, pretends to hit me, always trying to make me laugh. But he acts different when other people are around. When others are around, the flirting stops. When it is just me and him, our interaction is playful and fun, his tone is softer w/ me. Is this a sign he likes me?

Dear Working on Love, 

It could be or it could be a sign that he’s just a flirt. Try making plans with him outside of work to see what the deal is. It’s always fun to flirt with people you work with (although it’s not the best idea) so I’d be weary of his intentions until you hang out when you’re off work. 

-Alli 

Dating Tips #256: Do more than just “hook up”

When you’re dating someone, you need to get to know them. Just because you have great physical chemistry doesn’t mean you and the person you’re interested in will get along when you’re not hooking up. If you can spend time together without being all over each other, and enjoy it, that’s how you know you can have a solid relationship. People always talk up the physical side of relationships and now if the first kiss is bad, then they don’t even try for a relationship. Kissing and sex can be improved over time, but a genuine connection is something to hold on to. 

Questions/Response

Email: sardonicdatingadvice@gmail.com

Anonymous asked: part 2: We broke up 2 days ago and he still continues to text me daily talking things out or talking as if were just friend. The way i handled the break up was rlly well and understanding I said i would just give him space. What im wondering though is do you think theres a good chance we would get back together? Or do u think he would just go right to his ex. From what he told me tho they fought all the time and he was not happy in their relationship, just recently hes been very confused.

Dear Confused,

It sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants right now. I’d give him time to sort out his feelings without talking to you. If he wants to be with you but does need some more time, then he will be with you. If he wants to be with his ex, then he’ll go back to her. I’d keep my distance from him for a while and ask him to not talk to you until he knows what he wants. 

-Alli 

Anonymous asked: I wrote you an email, is this site still active? I'd really appreciate your advice!

It is but I never got an email. Resend it and I’ll keep an eye out for it! 

Anonymous asked: Hi. I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am for you doing this. I can't imagine how many questions pop in everyday since relationship problems are so prevalent. And not in just dating - in politics too! So thank you so much for doing this.

Thank you for reading :) 

Anonymous asked: I've a friend who's been crushing on a mutual friend for about a year. I’m great friends with this guy and I think my friend knows she’s hooked him. But recently she’s gotten pretty cold and I’d blame this on the fact that she’s short so I don’t see her walking next to him in the crowded halls and I talk a lot with this guy friend. Maybe I should back off from talking to my guy friend but my girl friend has always liked attention from guys and has never been happy when I talk to one of them.

Dear Short Stacks, 

If she doesn’t like you talking to one of your friends just because she likes him, then she can get over it. Talk to her about how you’re perceiving her actions and how it’s making you feel. She needs to get over this jealousy issue, otherwise she’ll never have a healthy relationship. Don’t give up your friendship with either one of these people, though, because that’s not fair to you. 

-Alli