He Doesn't Want A High-Five

Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley

J.K. Rowling became a billionaire because the “Harry Potter” series was about so much more than just Harry Potter, the supporting characters were also stellar and his two best friends were no exception.

Why they should inspire you: They were honestly friends first. And they got to know each other flaws and all before falling in love. Oh and there was the fact that they were totally badass when it came to fighting a wizarding war (we’ll ignore the part where Ron ran away and instead focus on the fact that he came back and ended up fighting with Hermione side by side at one point).

Numbers don’t matter.

When it comes down to it, it really doesn’t make a difference if you’re thinking about marrying your first boyfriend or your hundredth. When you’re at an age and a point in your relationship where you feel ready to take the next step, you’ll only be thinking about the future and not the number of previous hook ups (or lack thereof) of the past.

‘There’s nothing sexier than Ayn Rand preachin’ about egoism, am I right? I’m right.’

Have emotional integrity

Dr. Phil says that effective communication begins with honesty. “If you say you’re going to look for a job in earnest, then look for a job,” the Dr. stresses. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” Dr. Phil is one smart cookie. I used to say things that I didn’t mean way too often. Things like, “Those pleated khakis look really spectacular with your Tevas” or “I’d love for your mother to tag along on our Hawaiian vacation.” Those little white lies hurt our “emotional integrity” and made for a few unsavory fashion mistakes.

The “I Don’t Want A GF But I Don’t Want You To See Other People” Non-BF

You like this guy. He likes you. He tells you that he wouldn’t be comfortable dating you if you were seeing other people. In a wave of feeling agreeable, you say ‘ok, sure’. The problem? He’s not looking for a girlfriend, so essentially he’s not looking to date other people and therefore doesn’t have to change anything in his dating behavior. You are now in a limbo where you aren’t his girlfriend but agreed to exclusivity and have changed YOUR dating behavior extremely. This will prove to be very inconvenient and annoying when he lives his life normally, and you have to curb yours by not going on dates with other people — even though he’s not giving you the attention you should probably be getting from the people you would be going on dates with (who you can’t go on dates with because you agreed not to see other people). This will be short-lived. This is a stupid idea. Why would you enter into such an agreement?!? It’s ok, we all make dumb choices every once and again. But essentially, in this case, this boy is your Non-BF.

 If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of someone else. Too many people get into relationships as a way to fix themselves or avoid fixing themselves by fixing someone else. You don’t have to think about your own emotional wellness when you’re focused on someone else’s. But there are a lot of problems with that, because you will take any problems you already had with you into the relationship; you carry your anger, your baggage and your brokenness. How can you make someone else whole if what you are giving to them is broken?  The only way to do that is to acknowledge that neither of you is perfect or able to be perfect. Instead, all you can do is try and enjoy the broken grace that life offers you and work on being the best that you can be. The only way is to try and do so together.